Log Off For Love

New Paltz Students Don't Embrace Dating Through the Internet



America is bombarded with advertisements on how to meet one’s mate over the Internet. Match.com promises, "We’re so sure you’ll meet someone special within six months, that if you don’t, we’ll give you six months free," and even Dr. Phil ends the commercial by telling you that "it’s OK to look." eHarmony commercials show happy couples dancing to the lyrics "this will be an ever-lasting love." As strange as it may be to some people, online dating services are a lucrative industry that Americans spend over $500 million on a year, according to the Online Publishers Association.

Even though popular movies like “Must Love Dogs” and “You’ve Got Mail” seem to have popularized meeting people through the Internet for those who are middle-aged, SUNY New Paltz students are not convinced that online dating services and meeting people over the Internet is a method that they want to explore to find a romantic partner.

Online dating services are a lucrative industry that Americans spend over $500 million a year on.

Some students felt that online dating services were only for the lonely and the desperate.

“It’s for people who have no real social skills and lack self confidence because they think they can’t find someone in real life,” said Andrew Latini, a senior art education major. “They’re insecure.”

But for many students, particularly females, the main concern about finding love and romance on the Internet is possible danger. Sophomore biology major, Sharon Mangat, is convinced that the Internet is simply not safe for meeting people.

“It’s a little scary because at least when you meet someone in person you have a better shot at reading them. You can sense things from one’s body language, tone of voice and so forth that you would never be able to get from an online chat,” Mangat said.

“One guy wasn’t who he said he was. He used a fake picture, and it went on for over a year."

Mandi Palmer, a junior psychology major, admitted that dating online had never occurred to her as an option, “maybe because of how protective my mom was in warning me of how dangerous it was. You are much more susceptible to people who lie about who they are.”

Palmer knew someone who learned this the hard way.

“I had a friend in high school who had two experiences with online dating, and neither were good," Palmer said. “One guy wasn’t who he said he was. He used a fake picture, and it went on for over a year. Eventually he felt bad and fessed-up about it.”

However, even if the people one meets online are who they say they are, there is still a risk for danger.

“I had a friend who met a guy online just to hook-up with him and he ended up giving her HPV,” said Courtney Gerken, a junior communications disorders major.

But Nick Hall, a senior journalism major and frequent online gamer believes that though meeting people over the Internet can be tricky, it’s possible. Hall has gamed online for years, and as a result, has formed strong friendships that have lasted over a decade with some of the people he has gamed with. Hall said that while he would never use the Internet to find a romantic partner, he believes it’s the only option for some people.

“It does have its virtues because there are some people who have no hope of meeting people outside the Internet,” Hall said. “It’s also not easy to meet someone when you live in the middle of no where.”

However, Hall does not believe that people should go through online dating services such as Match.com or eHarmony if they are interested in meeting someone over the Internet.

“The problem is that you go there with high expectations. It’s also not how would normally meet the person. The only thing you really have in common is the use of the Internet,” Hall said.

Palmer agreed. “When you meet someone offline, you form an initial connection right away in your interest of where you are, what you’re doing, the same college you’re attending, whereas you wouldn’t have that online,” she said.

It seems that New Paltz students will be sticking with the traditional method of meeting people in person to find dates and a potential love interest.

“I think it’s just a personal choice that anyone could opt for,” Mangat said. “I have seen it work for other people, but it’s just not for me.”